December 13, 2024

​Friday the 13th! A guard tosses my cell and takes the bedsheet I had exchanged for the blanket that made my skin break out in a rash. It wasn’t an issue for probably more than a year but now that it is wicked cold they start messing with inmates’ bedding. The sergeant, Nice, claims there are no notes in the system to verify it and tries to claim I raised my voice at him even though I did not. He gave up the accusation when he saw other people in the hallway that weren’t the regular unit officers were looking confused at his false claim. The privilege to pretend something is true and the power to inflict punishment meets objective witnesses and their confused expressions actually defused the situation before he got carried away abusing his authority. The guard that originally swapped the wretched blanket for the sheet was kind enough to recognize that I was staying fully clothed day and night and laying directly on the plastic bunk mattress. She was a good one.

I hear my brother is trying to peddle excuses and lies.
Because I asked my attorney to finish the post-conviction draft and send it to me months ago, instead of scheduling phone calls across the two weeks it was supposed to take. Then somehow I was being exaggerated in the claim that I canceled all calls with my attorney. Not true. I was being told that the post-conviction motion was 99% done. It was not. Six weeks ago I requested a simple list of issues to be argued in the post-conviction motion and my attorney could not produce them and did not send them. So, I wrote my own list and read them to her on the next phone call. After that it hit me. I wrote the list of issues without any transcripts or line summaries. I didn’t even get to watch or rewatch the trial to critically review the court proceedings. A year and a half after conviction, my attorney still could not explain to me what we would present to the court to dispute what was done to me. My brother is busy telling the group members I act irrationally or emotionally, when in fact I am now certain I am only in here because of the neglect of the people who claim to have my interests in mind but don’t bother with the simplest tasks on my behalf. It took me less than thirty minutes to list 43 issues but my attorney produced less than ten in more than a year. My brother refused to just Google a simple question about a cell phone and instead just yelled at me for twelve minutes about not being grateful for all that everyone has done, yet I don’t really know what people have or have not done. I have never seen the website, or any YouTube shows, or anything. Someone else was willing to Google my question and provided me an answer in under five seconds. It just doesn’t make sense that the help I need the most is the least priority for anyone—my attorney or my family. Instead, they feed the group with excuses and disparaging comments about me. And now making bogus claims that information about what happened on record in court proceedings cannot be mentioned or it may jeopardize the post-conviction motion? That is a complete lie. And then when group members defend me, my brother claims my failing memory, although it is imperfect, has repeatedly pointed out what a presumptive ass he proves to be. I will spare you the examples for now. You know he was one of the first people I added to the visitors list after I was sent to prison. He came to visit me a few times but didn’t solve his curiosity or have answers to questions about the case. He has actually never even bothered with setting up a video visit even once. Never bothered to check how I am. Only shopped me for information he could use to perpetuate his opportunity to be some center of attention. Actions or inaction, always speak louder than words. Those of you who have made time and supported me for at least twenty minutes in the last six months have probably made more effort than him. I think that speaks volumes. Time to remove him from my visitors list.