June 23, 2024

When a persons actions are consistent with their words then their intentions are self-evident. Judge Bruce Schroeder often shared the story about when he was a kid his neighbor was a judge who liked the saying that "The brain cannot absorb what the seat cannot endure." Bruce himself reiterated that saying multiple times throughout my court proceedings, including during the trial. When he told the jury the trial would last about two weeks, then imposed a "snow day" in fear of the weather, then took an afternoon off to drive his wife to the hospital, then let the prosecution speculate and masquerade conjecture as fact for over two weeks until defense counsel's witness subpoenas expired, and then dismissed the remaining defense witnesses to the preference of the prosecution, I knew something was wrong but was in such confusion about everything that I did not immediately recognize the scheme. Especially if you consider he not only refused to read the Denny motion, but also prohibited defense counsel from questioning anything pertaining to information contained in the Denny motion during the trial, it becomes evident that part of his role was to exhaust the jurors patience. To have "gatekeepered" exculpatory information and cross-examination of the Denny motion and invited any blatantly obvious fabrication and false testimony, as well as irrelevant testimony whose only purpose could be to besmirch my name as it demonstrated absolutely no relevance to the case or the truth-seeking process of trial, all points in a specific direction. And there was a moment where he bragged about not being fearful of his rulings being challenged in appellate court. Based on all of those things, and I am sure more I fail to recollect at the moment, I think it would be reasonable to infer from statements and patterns of behavior that he intended to have an unfair trial by framing the jury, but he also intended to undermine my ability to appeal by allowing or building a false record. It is emotionally difficult attempting to process being framed for crimes I did not commit. My heart grasps desperately for anyone to weigh the facts instead of the fiction. The court is supposed to assure in that interest but instead I found authorities colluded in moral abandon for my wrongful conviction with a diabolic scheme to also attempt to deprive me an appeal. I don't know how much of what I just mentioned will be presented in post-conviction arguments. I have ready plenty of judicial and prosecutorial misconduct cases where every possible excuse is afforded their wrongdoing. I just don't see how any honest and reasonable person could not see it for what it is: an elaborate scheme to wrongfully convict and shift the burden of proof to the defense through the use of fabricated testimony and evidence at trial. And if it were just that simple, but the judge, by all appearances, was in on it too.

While at the law library this morning the legal clerk tells me about how they installed a camera to specifically view the computer screen of inmates looking at their discovery material because inmates look at the pornography they had on their phones at the time they were arrested. I do not want to be using the computer the previous inmate was just using to masturbate. I don't feel that recording my discovery material respects privacy and confidentiality required for due process in post-conviction or appeal procedures though. And just like peeking at guys in the night, how much of this prison system is allocated to policing masturbation? Most of the guys in here only care about getting their rocks off through drugs or sex, or both. They weren't working on a retirement plan before they came here. Education and professional development was way more complicated than bullying their mother or whatever other weirdo loser program that got them by. That's sort of mean, but I see guys primarily concerned with superficial and immediate gratification and nothing else. What confuses me is taxpayer dollars being used to try to regulate some twenty year olds self abuse. If it doesn't affect anyone else then what interest does the government take in policing it? The war on drugs is not winnable. Not even in prison. The war on dittle bugs is also not winnable. Guys, and girls, are going to succumb to their passions. Especially without the availability of a romantic partner. Paying someone to peek in cells and watch guys use a computer would probably be better allocated toward having inmates wash their hands and providing enough computers to do legal work in the proximity of staff. "Keep your hands above the table." Or maybe there is a security interest and rehabilitative interest for sex crimes. I don't know. Maybe if guards didn't require access to look at me in my underwear while in my cell I wouldn't be questioning their motives and methods.

The humidity has dropped quite a bit today. The guard who pays me extra attention caught me standing in my underwear this afternoon with his long dick-high stare. It isn't too humid for pants but always wearing them creates in-grown leg hair. Regardless, I knew he was working and should have planned accordingly. It still startled me to turn around from my sink and see his eyes buried in my undershorts. "Hey, I am up here! Eyes up here!" I am surprised prison issue undies don't have a window in the front, you know, "for security."

The tablet services have optioned a monthly one-time rate for Pluto TV access. It has reduced the cell-to-cell yelling quite a lot. I guess they are monitoring what guys watch and movies that show nudity are being blocked when they find out. The masturbation police shall restrict your toilet paper, steal your mail, and censor mature TV. Each guard that each prison allocates to perform these responsibilities reportedly clears over $100,000 in wages not including benefits with retirement options after 20 years. I have said before and I say it again; they have enough staff but they use them in all the wrong way. And, yes, it is awkward and sad that that is "what is going on" for me to write about.