April 17, 2024

I walked along the wall cap of a sandy colored stone building while looking down over the edge to a large glossy puddle of water that rested perfectly still on the asphalt parking lot about six stories below. When I reached the corner of the building my fingers touched a metal pole which I presume was mounted on the building for an antenna but my stride carried me off the edge and left me floating and calmly watching the people below. I looked at my fingers and thought it was odd I reached out to touch the metal reference since I didn't need to save myself from falling when falling, for me, was a matter of willpower over gravity. As my fingers let go... Awoken.

I stood below a loading dock as my boys ascended the adjacent stairs. I was ready to catch them if they might fall but they were busy pushing each other and turned toward the inside of the building where uncertain adventure and curious discovery awaited. Awoken.

The baton the guards clack against the wall right outside my door, and the blast of bright LED flashlight is almost guaranteed to betray every dream under the false pretension of safety.

​I watched part of an interesting show on PBS about embracing the changes that will be brought in the interest of climate change and environmental preservation. Everything I sample is colored with my own lens and a comment from a woman whose name I did not catch seemed to inspire me. She said "The problem with fear is it prohibits reformative action." I expect this will be very true for a court system that enjoys all the privilege of refusing to admit fault. They also extend much of that privilege to district attorneys and law enforcement. Now I will probe the notion that failing to keep the branches of government objectively separate betrays the checks and balances intended in the design of the founding fathers. The courts will exercise the greatest solution aversion in their efforts to justify what has happened. Reformation is always met with resistance. When I come home I can imagine becoming advocate and activist for meaningful reformation. At least, I hope people will listen to my story and interested in creating something good after all this bad.