My first dream was police at French doors on the inside of my house looking through the glass while I was telling them they had no reason to have entered the exterior door behind them. Awoken by inmates yelling and laughing in the middle of the night. My second dream was about trenching a service wire to my grandparents old house. That dream was also interrupted by the same guys laughing and yelling.

​Shortly after 3:00am they finally get quiet but I am then stuck awake at less than three hours of sleep. Still no response from the "medical provider" after I got my MRI. If anyone felt as though they were being leaned upon by someone's elbow, they would seek immediate response. Having a medical history, and having been informed it is what I am experiencing, they refused to review my medical history and have held me three years in jail and a year in prison without any reasonable response. The chronic pain is difficult and best suffered without antagonism but the lack of sleep is unmitigating where I only feel I sleep by passing out while my body fights to stay awake. It's so weird and very stressful. 

If it's lonely where you are then come back down and I won't tell 'em your name. The god for these hot dry lands walked through the dust and sand in his long flowing ornate robes. I was some sort of champion of a dragon in the cold Icey North. I didn't see any equivocal to me for the opponent spirit and wondered if I would need to fight the spirit for our differences, or perhaps one of the numerous others gathered here. It will be different for me to fight on sand instead of snow.

Six fifteen standing count. Almost four hours of sleep. I was watching some shocking videos show that was themed with brawling before I went to sleep. I suspect that influenced my dream but I am not sure where the rest of it formulated.

​I have found that the law library computers have had the ability to screenshot disabled so we cannot account for what we actually view while using the legal resources. When trying to access court websites the very limited access blocks some of the links to resources. Also, when searching the West Law site it will show cases, legal analysis, briefs, and memorandums are "out of plan." So, inmates are extremely limited on what they can see and use. If it is reasonable to expect inmates could be legally proficient with a rack of Wisconsin State Statute books and some case summaries, then why do law degrees take years of learning before years of guided practice through endless legal analysis and rehashing? And inmates are expected to do this at an hour or two per week. Including those that cannot even read. 

The last I saw the clock was 1:47am and I was awoken by an inmate forcing laughter at something on TV just after 4:00am. Whatever I was dreaming only left me with a feeling of having just been in serious discussion or debate. My old tablet access is completely locked out of everything now. Even the games I had purchased and had downloaded on the tablet are unaccessible. I turned on the TV this morning and was stopped by a comment about "turning tragedy into meaning" on a documentary while I was flipping through channels. Ten to Life is about a man named Jonathan Wall who was convicted in Federal Court over Marijuana. President Biden had said he would pardon Federal inmates who were convicted of simple possession but the statement is an empty gesture since no one is convicted of simple possession. #FreeJonathanWall. I think if you feel that it is acceptable for nicotine and caffeine to be legal then you should never convict someone for cannabis. If alcohol is legal then so should be flower power. A cultural minority should not be targeted by predatory governmental abuse. If you honor the men who filled Boston Harbor with tea, then let's go fill it with THC! I am an American not an American't! The best kind.

​I managed to fall asleep before lunch. I dreamt I was asking for a guard for cleaning supplies. It was cut short by the meal delivery announcement. The dream journal idea is not very achievable when all my dreams are interrupted. 

I didn't want to wear white clothes to go fishing. It doesn't matter because inmates were yelling and woke me up. In my second dream I am in a tiny house with a few researchers and we are looking out the door to a small wooden porch but the entire building is at a high altitude and spinning so that when you look below the porch all you see is blue sky. I stepped out on to the porch but could not see anything but blue sky all around. It was almost impossible to tell we were spinning, except for having the faintest whisps of clouds as a visual reference.

I suspect that my journal is not the best place to exercise thoughts about topics that are not germaine to my personal experience or legal tragedy. Every time I turn on the news I see ecological and economical conflicts. Today I saw a segment on PBS about globalization. In one theory, some people will be prosperous and others won't. The third theory was something like how corporations prosper and people and the planet won't. I don't want to go into how wrong Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations and free market economy is not right. People are not led by an invisible hand but by the interest to influence or control other people's actions or resources. Since money, mostly, represents the interest in influencing and controlling other people's actions and resources AND globalization is proven to prioritize corporate prosperity over the well-being of people or the planet, THEN what does money truly represent? I would re-write this much better if I wasn't thinking aloud in pen. It's a blue pen, by the way, although most of you will never see the ink version. What should money represent? This question is at the core of my theory about what system would resolve all of the ecological and economical conflicts. It wouldn't resolve religious disputes and I am of the understanding that people will always make excuses to do or to get away with whatever they really want to do as long as privilege over other individuals is afforded them. But, maybe there is a way to eliminate half of all of the problems in the world. Would you do it? I often think about how to model and test my theory. I haven't been able to convince myself it has an exploitable flaw. Maybe I will explain it to my brother when he visits next. 

I was coiling up a hose that was stiff and no, get your mind out of the gutter. A garden hose. But as usual, seconds of a dream are all I get. In my second dream, there were rats throughout the house and the flies that emanated from the rat corpses and feces in the basement were everywhere, but never mind since the guard came through. 

I dreamt I was with a girl I knew as a teen but was awoken by the bright light of the guard doing his rounds. My next dream had me outside my vehicle putting clothes on when I noticed a deer trying to jump over a chain link fence. The beep from the guards baton activating at the checkpoint snapped me out of that. About sixteen years ago I drove through the heaviest downpour I have ever experienced. A woman who used to love me was very pregnant and in the car next to me. I was glad I knew the route to the hospital really well because I could barely see just a few feet in front of the car. The road could not shed the rainfall fast enough so I couldn't see the lines painted on the road, but focussed on the other visual references like the curb or shoulder of the road to pathfinder the trip. A deluge. It took one of mother natures more dramatic expressions to inspire my daughter be born on that day. She couldn't breathe right away and the hospital staff couldn't get an IV started. While she was in the intensive care unit a nurse entered the hospital room and looked at the whiteboard that held two possibilities for baby names and after an apologetic disclaimer said that if our daughter survived we could name her [name redacted] and call her [name redacted]. She was healthy and strong but had inhaled too much before she was born and they tried to start an IV to help since they had trouble clearing her lungs. It was scary and they were even talking about an emergency helicopter trip to a different hospital but that did not happen. My baby girl is healthy and resilient still, but much less of a baby girl. I guess most people would say she is a young woman now. I hope she is making good choices that protect her long term well being. I wish I was there to help. I love and miss her always. 

I was dreaming about holding a cell phone but was awakened by a guard doing his rounds. Later on, I dreamt about planning to plant trees but was again and as usual interrupted from sleep. Preventing REM sleep reduces serotonin and increases stress hormones. They claim their practices are for inmate safety but from my perspective it seems they mean to induce suicide and not prevent it. Whatever the punishments are supposed to be do not seem relevant to what inmates are convicted of and nothing about prison seems to realign their moral compass for the better. 

"Engage your abs." Does anyone want to go to the movie theater to watch The Fall Guy with me? Just hearing the title you may think it is a documentary about my trial but it isn't. I hope the movie is as good as the previews.

​I bought a small TV at a thrift store to watch an old show with my aunt and uncle. Awoken.

I was laying on the floor of a chiropractors office but the doctor was refusing to help, or at least try. The back pain in the dream is the same pain that woke me. Not much to decrypt in that dream. 

While driving down the road in my old work vehicle I was looking for a safe place to pull off the road and access utility records. I spotted a good place and turned the hazard flashing lights on while steering over to the gravel shoulder. As the car behind me went to pass I noticed a black ball rolling down the road. It was only the size of a tennis ball but was almost glossy the way it caught the headlights of the passing car. When I step out of my vehicle I turn on my flashlight but as I bend down to look for the ball I hear snarling in the ditch. The guard hits the checkpoint.

I am scrolling around a map on a tablet trying to decide which country I want to visit but when I ask my daughter's opinion she is indecisive. As dreams often do, I am then somewhere else where I am standing in sandy soil where a broken embankment reveals a small hole about four fingers width that is occupied by a large tan spider. The spider uses four legs to hold the upper lip of the hole and shapes the rest of itself into a paddle to flick sand out of its sculpted entryway. It seems to me an interesting and unique technique to dig a hole. The guard hits the checkpoint.

3:14am when I look at the clock. Something popped in my elbow while doing my stretches. My elbow is really sore now but it doesn't feel like anything is in the joint anymore. I don't know if that is good or bad. 

I dreamt about sitting in my fourth grade class next to my friend Justin and looking at a math problem which was interrupted by inmates yelling back and forth between cells. Then, a while later, I fell asleep and dreamt I was walking up to my grandparents old house and the lawn needed to be mowed. I walked into the house and my grandfather was laying down bothered by a toothache. The blaze of the guards flashlight snapped me out of that dream.