may 5, 2024

I dreamt that my uncle and I went to a funeral wake and a lot of my older family members were surprised to see me bonded out of prison (even though that isn't how it works). My uncle knelt down to talk to my grandmother and someone handed me a tablespoon of milk while people changed seats and collected beverages for each other.  The dream expresses my fear someone will die while I am stuck in here and I will not have been able to say goodbye. My uncle was provided a chair to sit and my grandmother took the spoonful of milk and mixed it into her coffee. I don't exactly remember what I had been dreaming about before the spoon of milk. The guard doing his round had awoken me. I also feel like being disrupted seems to keep me awake for an hour and a half to two hours. Not always, but often.

​I TALKED TO MY BOYS for a few minutes. I cried but did my best not to sound like it. They were hesitant to reply with an I Love You. To me that is just an indication of the damage done to them and our familial bond. Even so, my heart cannot help but sing happy songs after hearing their voices.