November 1, 2023

No, you are not allowed to chastise me about calling my younger brother a princess. He is secure in himself, and reproducing at an age where he has a grown son who dabbles on the precipice of fatherhood, too. Basically, he is lucky he isn't also a grandfather and having to explain to his youngest child how his niece or nephew is older than them. When Swayze gets older he is already going to look at his dad and wonder why he looks the oldest of his brothers. We all know how cruel Darth Jen is. Manipulating Sol with her force powers. The Dark Side! Or, as we commonly call it; "love" and "affection." So evil! Anyway, Sol deserves some ribbing after his last "I told you so." It's so frustrating when people are right about stuff you really don't want them to be right about. You know?

All my nicknames were all early in my time in jail. I wasn't charged with the alleged homicide until about five months later. I had been sent back to Kenosha County Jail and one of the guards who was not inclined to the harassing and sleep deprivation strategies had told me while walking across the bridge that connects two of the buildings that I was brought back to KCJ, downtown, for them to "break" me. I think we had just gone to the medical clinic, but I am not certain. My health problems began fairly quickly as my body struggled immediately with the jail diet. Right before I got sent back to KCJ is when the jail rumors got the most gruesome. I don't know who started what but if I shared some of the rumors at the time you would understand there is no limit to the imagination that guys with nothing but time will exercise.

In the, perhaps, ten or eleven months I spent back downtown I went all the way down to 167 pounds. That is the time that they wouldn't let me cut my hair. Haircuts were only available at KCDC and Covid allowed them to deny it. There were also instances where they wouldn't let me shave as well, claiming I required a supervised shave as though I was suicidal. Then they would say they didn't have the extra staff to watch me shave. I could hear them hanging out and gossiping around the corner and would even write about things they talked about. It was all a big joke to do that to me. The very edge of where my fingernail shattered holds the last bit of ridge where the deformed nail growth has almost made it to being trimmed. It won't be the last damages from being mistreated in Kenosha. Being denied dental and medical care comes with their own reminders. In a few more weeks I get to trim off that ridge though.

​I re-read what I write sometimes and feel bad you are presented with this first draft quality of scratch. Please try to take what I write with some consideration. I am trying to share my experience, but sometimes things don't come out perfectly. Also, I suppose I don't express much appreciation here, because it isn't direct communication with any single person in particular, but everything people have done for me so far has been tremendously helpful. Not only my quality of life but in the time I expect to need to endure these circumstances. Now if I could just get more phone calls to call and tell each of you...