November 8, 2023

The guards keys are more evil than the fan, earplugs, and pillows can suppress. About 3:30am I finally fall asleep. I am in prison with a bunch of blankets over my head backlit with a soft white glow instead of the standard bleached out fluorescent. I hear my daughter's voice. I ask "How did you get in here?" and say "We are going to get in trouble." She says "No, dad. It's okay." I am trying to lay still so the guards won't notice I am awake but also inch slowly to see out from my blankets. She tells me not to. I tell her "You can't take the pills, babe, or you won't have the magic." She tells me that she has to because they are her medication. I respond "You don't even know what that means. And no." She says "I have to, dad, they make me." Then small footsteps start stepping all over the blankets I am hiding underneath. "Hold on, boys. I just need to finish talking to your sister." They laugh and stomp harder. I start to laugh too and cannot tell them to stop since its my boys. "Three minutes until standing count. Three minutes until standing count" blasts out of the small stainless steel intercom panel next to the light switch. The pillow is still pinned over my head. 

Between 9:30 and 10:30am I get to go look at discovery material on a laptop computer in a room in the next range. While doing so I feel a tweak in my back. I am familiar with that feeling and I know I am doomed.

About noon I go get a letter from the public defender. The bill even though the attorney has withdrawn without doing any work and now I have Natalie. 

My back is so bad that I stop and ask the guard to call HSU to ask if they can see me. He is doubtful but I get called about 12:30pm and go see a nurse whose name is Worley, I think. She is super reluctant to put gloves on and the extent of her physical exam is to locate where the pain is. Aside from taking blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature. I explain I had rec yesterday but felt my back tweak while sitting at the computer and now it is just strung tight from my neck to my waistline. She says she can only offer me Tylenol, Ibuprofen, or Lidocaine cream. None of those work. Oh, and ice. When I say heat helps she instructs me to use a warm rag. That also does not work. She says she will order lidocaine cream and talk to the doctor. Because her only offer is nothing that helps I ask her to at least make accurate notes.