I don't remember how it began, but I had a dream the other night where I was at a place that my brothers and I used to live with our dad. I was sitting in the living room with my boys who are always younger and smaller in my dreams than they are now. Their legs straight out were not longer than the depth of the cushion on the couch. They were each wearing shoes too, that I was proud they tied themself. I had been telling them that there is so much that I cannot explain and all that I knew to tell them is to be patient. They were not happy about their mom's actions. Their mom arrived and asked to have a word with me in private. We walked over to the stairwell down to the basement and, with the lights on, descended a few steps and turned to face her above me with one leg up a few steps so one leg was vertically straight and the other was elled to horizontal with my knee forward. That sort of Captain Morgan pose, while I leaned against the hand rail. Sadie then, in the dream, steps down to position that forward leg between her own legs and squeezes my thigh between hers. I am perturbed and ask her what she is doing. As I am telling her to get off of me the guards baton hitting the metal checkpoint right outside my door awakens me. I wasn't going to write about my dream because it included my ex.
Tonight I slept from after the 9:30pm standing count, until 11:00pm. In my dream, I was at a very erotic party. There were naked people everywhere. The center of the large open room was a bare but concrete floor. Dark. Grey. Black. The ceiling held a million tethers that dangled from above and obstructed most of the light. The music was heavy and slow. Romantic. I made eye contact with a woman (an actress whom anyone would recognize by name or face) and she expressed that she felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I told her that there was no reason to be uncomfortable and that I could show her if she liked. I don't know if I grabbed a tether from the ceiling, but I had a small light whip in my hand. I told her how everyone enjoys this, and proceeded to lightly tap the bottoms of her feet while she was declining the solicitation of another man. I laid down next to her somehow very comfortable on the hard stone floor, and also in the crowd of perhaps one hundred others in various groupings and couplings of romantic stimulation. When I began to tease other parts of her body, including her hair, commenting on how pretty it is, she asked me to change the bauble end toy of the whip. I told her that I had a bunch she could choose from, and opened a small black cloth bag to spill them on the floor next to us. While I enjoyed gently striking her all over the features I enjoyed about her, she began to sing. At first the song was just aloud to the music, but she did smile and direct some of the song to me. The lights had grown colorful and she started to volunteer her parts she desired I whip. She, we, held a lot of people's attention by the time she finished the song. We thanked each other for a wonderful time and put our clothes on. I then walked across the room (to my right) and through the bar, into the restaurant portion of the building. It was a much bigger space than most bars and restaurants, and for some reason an orgy in the other room was somehow normal and acceptable. My kids had been there eating, or going to eat and as I hugged my daughter, my two boys, again and still small, had scooted into a booth. They asked why I couldn't join them to which I told them that their mom would be joining them and asked one of my sons to give me a hug goodbye. He curled up in my arms so his knees were against my chest and I started rocking back and forth telling him that everything is going to be alright. As I kissed him on the top of his head someone took me by my shoulders and started moving me over to allow for me to deposit my son on the other side of the booth. I awoke myself as I twisted out of the person's hold while telling them that I would let go of my son when I was ready and not sooner. I awoke laying on my back, face up to the ceiling. No tethers or whips dangling above me. Tears streaming down both sides of my head. I even had tears in one of my ears. My eyes hurt so bad and crying never helps. I get up to check the time. 11:02pm. I lay back down and cry hard for a while before the pressure abates. I suppose people will want to know who the actress was and there will be plenty of comments about 50 shades of Zach, but that is what I dreamt about. My back is usually what wakes me. My elbow hurts a lot after trying some light exercises at rec earlier today. They told me I have legal mail and should expect to be called for it tomorrow.
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aboutThese are the journal entries of Zachariah Anderson. All entries are originally handwritten by Zach and then transcribed on his behalf. Please note that occasional misspellings and grammar errors may be fixed during transcription for the sake of making the entries easier to read and sensitive information may be redacted. Archives
September 2024
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