October 14, 2023

Captain's log, star date... October 14th, 2023. What embarrassing stuff can I later regret sharing with the world today? I have skipped physical therapy for about 5 days now. I had to get some sleep. I got almost four hours. So desperate for sleep. Tomorrow I will exercise again and I am dreading it. Phone system was down today. Some people I try to call on the weekends because I don't know their schedule, or I do and during the week is a bad time to call. Can't call my kids. So rotten of her.

I should have written earlier when I still remembered my dream. Everyone had clothes on. The rest has faded too much to try to write about. I "slept in" until 2:30am. Just uncomfortable enough to prevent sleep. The days are so long!

On the weekends they provide cold sandwiches. That jellyfish bologna or this processed ham that I do not believe is fit for human consumption. The stuff is so crudely processed you can still make out the features. The tubular veins and arteries ar so alarmingly abundant. There is a really dark part that is from the outside of the pig. Snout? They wrap it in cellophane it has some milky white film that is not congealed fat. It smells putrid. I tried washing it off in the sink to get a better look and try to find a way to eat it but it smells worse after trying to clean it off. Bacterial film? I mash it into three plastic bags trying to suppress the odor. Is someone not washing their hands before handling the food?

Sorry. I know; another gross journal entry. May as well tell you about how small the toilets are and how your equipment will touch the bowl or dip in the water depending on where the water line is. I find that so gross too. Even worse, the showers aren't on to wash off afterward. Showers don't usually get turned on until about 6:oopm. If your business decides to kiss the bowl, then the sink you get drinking water from is also the cock-wash. Is it still called a sexually transmitted disease if it is contracted by having a drink of water? I know they don't want us touching our eyes to put contact lenses in. Filthy... for the security of the institution. Security and safety are always the two excuses. All the greatest wrongs are perpetrated under that guise. There is always an ulterior motive.

Being up all night I watch and listen to the guards do their rounds. They don't really check. They just blast the cell with a bright light as they crash through the hallway carrying their load of unused keys, noisily at their hip. Then they clack the metal checkpoint with their baton. I wonder who sued the prison system that the result is this perpetual harassment to every prisoner thereafter. Make the toilets smaller so inmates don't drown? If you ever went star gazing before cell phone apps did all the work, you used a red flash light to read the star map. Same reason numbers on nightstand alarm clocks are red. Same reason cell phones have a feature to suppress "blue" light. It interrupts your natural cycle. Your eyes don't have to adjust with the red light. It doesn't trigger the something in our brain that says it is time to be awake. You know people that go camping a least two weeks a year tend to keep a natural circadian rhythm? I heard that somewhere and am curious if its really true.

​Jail would not shut the lights off while we would sleep. When I went back for the restitution hearing, I was in a different housing unit where there was no benefit to griefing the inmates. No petty games and the lights were shut off at night. No shaking their unused keys. They also don't clack the checkpoint, either. I think a red flashlight should be mandatory. They work great to look at a star map. Leave me to look upon the Great Light Night Sky. If you don't know, that is the translation of my twin boys first and middle names. Oop. Tears. Should have left that alone. 

Captain Zachariah J. Anderson, signing off.