When I landed on the sand of the hour glass I was surprised at how hard the impact was. There was no fear while falling. My right side hurt because that is how I hit the sinking surface. I felt my face. It was already bruised and swollen. I didn't have a mirror to examine the damage and after walking over to the glass I could not detect any observable reflection. The sun light was intense but, looking up, I couldn't see where all the light was coming from being under the immense cover that was an end of an enclosure perhaps a thousand feet across. I figure that the end must have been opened since I could not make out any sort of opening for me to have entered. The entire disc above me is swirling with magic but a solid barrier nonetheless. I suppose my only way out would be to go down. That's when I hear the voices and laughter. Out of below, where I wonder if the atmosphere is even breathable with airborne sand and dust. I feel the pulling. The sucking, as my feet go below the surface. The worms will try to eat through me but I hear them laughing and I need to go. The worms. I hesitate and try to step a foot free to try to find a way to protect myself from the worms.
Crash, crash, crash, go the guard keys. Well, that is the second time his keys woke me tonight. I get up on his next lap, about 3:00am, and ask him to tuck his keys. He does, kindly. No unpleasantness about it. About three hours of sleep and that feeling you get when you hear the voices of people you love after not being allowed to talk to them for years. It isn't happiness. There is some. It feels more like your heart is way over full with blood, and it bursts. And then you can feel the pressure go down. Even out to your finger tips it goes down. It feels like the blood is gushing out of your heart all over the place and you need the other person to help contain it but they define themselves by how busy they have been with work or life and can not possibly begin to imagine the feelings now spilled out all over the place. And then you think a lot about how you are supposed to be happy, or at least happier than you were but now you realize a little bit better about how bad everything has been hurting inside and now it is just an open wound that no one can really mend. Most of my days are saturated with that confusion where I am not sure if things that help don't actually make things worse. I have spent years only being allowed things to take it away. That includes pictures of my kids, by the way. In jail I used to ask to be put back in the hole. After seven months in administrative segregation they really started pressing me to go back to general population. Thirsty to come up with some reason to take it all away again just glinting in their malicious stare. My brother now has the pictures I tried to flatten after they must have crumpled them up while going through my property. Not just punished, but intentionally harmed with no defense for myself. Oh, and my attorneys were just too busy. Yes, pictures were my most prized and cherished possession. Pictures I cannot get again of people I love the most. There are new pictures now. I hide them for fear of having them taken from me. The only picture on my wall is a tiny little copy of Starry, Starry Night that someone included in a message. I am not going to tie everything together in some clever way this time. I am just "so tired of being tired of being tired." And probably not half way through it all, yet. But the sand, it's pulling. And there is laughter on the other side. Oh, I guess I am going to tie it all together. Damn, my right side hurts.
18 Comments
Francesca
11/3/2023 03:01:22
“I hope travel is an option when I finally get out”
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Jen
11/3/2023 06:04:41
Hello, Francesca. thanks for your unfounded opinion. I do wonder what kind of person it makes you to opt to hop onto an advocacy website just to be an asshole.
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Francesca
11/4/2023 09:11:11
Not sure my opinion is any less ‘unfounded’ than yours. Or anyone else’s for that matter. And yes, I watched the entire trial and have read the evidence.
Marj
11/4/2023 10:01:36
My question still is: where do you base these self-based diagnoses on? Comment with facts, and not with words like "Hybristophiliac’s". Because even if we all were, that says nothing about the trial and Zach himself ! Bring facts, that shows more about your whole theory ❤️
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Josie
11/4/2023 10:06:23
Hey Fran!!! Drop your address below. We’ll make sure and add you to the travel rotation list when Zach’s out.
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Jen
11/4/2023 10:09:49
Your opinion is unfounded in the fact that you do not know Zach and therefore the judgments you have made about him and the big buzzword diagnoses you have googled and now commented about are baseless. You know no more about who he is as a person than I know about you.
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Francesca
11/4/2023 12:18:10
I’d love to understand the legal perspective of how you think me commenting on an OPEN website with a ‘comments’ section amounts to harassment, but I guess you have a greater legal mind than me.
Myra
11/3/2023 06:28:10
He will definitely be getting out. Those of us who fully believe in his innocence are working toward that day. It will happen. Stay tuned, and as Jen said, “You can eat your words when he does.”
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Marj
11/3/2023 06:35:12
I wonder how you can comment with terms like "narcissistic, self pitying horor of a personality"? Are you just repeating what you've heard, or do you actually know him? I'm curious on what you base your opinion on?
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Maile Morris
11/3/2023 15:38:33
Hey Francesca!!!! How dare you say those awful words about someone you have never even met. There is a whole team of people hell bent on getting Zach out!!!
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Francesca
11/4/2023 09:04:29
If you think a team of Hybristophiliac’s are going to get him freed you’re more delusional than I thought.
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Misty
11/4/2023 10:39:26
Why are you so obsessed with us Fran? It’s kinda creepy 😬
Lynn
11/4/2023 10:51:53
Interesting projection there Francesca.
Kayla Oldenkamp
11/4/2023 10:57:52
Just what the internet needs... another keyboard warriors who took psychology class and thinks their an expert. Love it! If you believe Zach is guilty, fine, but the least you could do is look at the evidence that clearly exonerates him of this crime. We know you won't because you have the The narrative you want and you're going to stick to that. We get it we've been dealing with people who are terrified of the truth. It's horrific to think that our judicial system could do this to someone who's innocent but that's exactly what happened.
Claudia
11/4/2023 09:45:48
Thank you for visiting this website and expressing your interest. However, I can't shake the feeling that you haven't given it much thought. Anyone who watched the trial of Zachariah Joseph Anderson closely should have noticed that the story constructed by the prosecutor is hair-raising. The family has gone to great lengths to fill it with very revealing information that should make you sit up and take notice. As I wrote some time ago, I ask for decency towards Zachariah Joseph Anderson and his relatives who have had to endure emotional suffering for years. I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that Mr. Gutierrez must finally be found. It is very, very sad that the relevant authorities have given up looking for Mr. Gutierrez. Everyone should be given a decent grave. The relatives of Mr. Gutierrez must finally be allowed to close their doors. And one last thing, if I may: diaries are not for entertainment, they reflect thoughts and feelings. It takes courage to have them published. All the best to you.
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Francesca
11/4/2023 12:26:12
Yes, please may the one day find the poor, innocent guy. That would be the best outcome for everyone concerned ❤️
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Maile
11/4/2023 10:29:40
This site is very clear on it's intention. FreeZachariahAnderson.
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Lawkong
11/4/2023 18:15:09
Now Becky behave
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aboutThese are the journal entries of Zachariah Anderson. All entries are originally handwritten by Zach and then transcribed on his behalf. Please note that occasional misspellings and grammar errors may be fixed during transcription for the sake of making the entries easier to read and sensitive information may be redacted. Archives
September 2024
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