I wake up about 2:00am. I feel like someone is sitting on my back. It's hard to breath but the usual sharp pain isn't present so I am in a rarely discovered configuration and don't want to move. Stupid rec. On all fours I can suck a deep lung full of air and stretch a bit but that only alleviates things very briefly. What I would do for a heating pad and someone to pound on my back.
I dreamed that my brother and I had three women I knew over at my and my ex's old apartment. One of the girls was a stripper and was showing him some dances without any clothes on. I went and crawled into bed next to Bunny and told her we would leave as soon as my brother was ready. Shew as under the covers facing away from me. I was on top of the blanket hugging her. Then we left and we stopped at a gas station where my brother was now my other brother and was young and small again. I divided up my cash and told him eh could go in and get something for himself but I needed to figure out how to get us home, hours away, because I didn't want to go to this woman's house. That is where, feeling it difficult to breathe, I awoke. Over five hours later, after the guard has come by twice an hour and shined his light in my cell. I am curled onto hands and knees, oblivious to him. That light and pretending to check on prisoners is such a joke. Petty harassments. Know what it is a reminder of? February 8th or 9th, 2021. I am in a special segregation in Kenosha County Jail called W block. It is four cells across a small hallway where each cell has both a face of bars and a few feet beyond that is a solid steel door and narrow window. A cage within a box. I am in the first cell, A.J. is in the second, David is in the third, and (a guy who I thought was called Butterfield based on guard chatter) Tim is in cell four. They brought Tim in after the thermometer flaked out and indicted a fever. Covid quarantine. David was sick as hell. A.J. was the state's witness against co-defendants in a homicide (he got all sorts of extra favors). And me, who was being harassed in all the petty ways that Chinese water torture desires. Tim, however, was in a panic telling the guard (Correa) that they had to get him out of there. He said he couldn't take it. The guard told him he failed the temperature check and couldn't leave until medical cleared him. Every lap he was freaking out so they brought a nurse and checked his temperature again. Perfectly normal. So then he wants to get out of W but they tell him that he needs two temperature checks in a row to be healthy before he can get out. He is upset because the first test was faulty and he shouldn't be in W in the first place! They don't care. Policy. So, still, every lap they guard does he is panicking and begging for a way to contact his girlfriend or wife. A phone call? A tablet to email? Anything. The guard eventually gives in and I hear him call his girl from the phone out in the hallway. He says something about her having to take care of the kids and I suppose he is facing a long time. Every time the guard comes through he continues to ask to be moved to a regular housing unit. Eventually, after spending the morning and early afternoon in a frenzy, he passes out for a few hours. Shift change, a guard named Schulz does his first round and verbally acknowledges me, then A.J. David I think is still passed out. Tim I presumed to also be sleeping, except on the next lap when the guard gets to the fourth cell, the end cell, there is an explosion of keys jingling and crashing. "Ten thirty three! Ten thirty three! Umm! Uhh! Possible suicide!" I hear him get the first door open. I hear him get the caged door open. The clamor of boots racing down the outer hallway gets louder as they approach. Within moments a nurse arrives. My outer door is partially open and uniformed guards flash by the narrow view. The nurse has started the defibrillator which is instructing her and whatever guard (female) to resuscitate Tim. A supervisor comes to the hallway and says "I need someone to go down to the old sally port and let in EMS." Why the hell ask someone in the middle of life saving procedure to go do whatever else without taking over that responsibility? The guard does what the supervisor implied though. Then it was just the robotic voice telling the nurse to place the paddles and to not be touching the person. The nurse starts calling out for help that she needed the guard to come back. "She needs to do that while I am doing this!" No reply. I start yelling "come help her or let me out and I will help! hey! hey! hello!!!" The nurse does get the defibrillator connected and it announces that it is shocking the patient numerous times. In between each shock it pauses to detect a heartbeat. Eight minutes later, EMS is there and in no hurry whatsoever. The nurse was in a hurry and urgently explains to the EMTs that she got his heart going and he needs oxygen. The EMT is dismissive saying they got it now. They got it. I hear him announce pupils dilated to five millimeters and something else. Then they suppose to get him "loaded up" and bring in the gurney the wrong way around. Then wheel it out of the little hallway and turn it around. No hurry. They get him on the gurney and he goes passed my cell and still is not being provided any oxygen. The first thing the nurse told them, desperately. Nope. After that, A.J., David, and I got thrown into a holding cell. I was stuck there for four hours until two female detectives arrived from Racine. I get called into a conference room and they ask me what I said to the guy. I am shocked and confused. Are they trying to blame this on me? I decline any sort of statement to them because I don't trust them at all. I write many of things in a letter to my attorneys who either never receive it because Kenosha was meddling with legal mail or because they just ignored it like most every other letter I sent them. Many months later I was in a unit with a guy who claimed to be Tim's best friend. He said he was the one to have called and told Tim's wife or girlfriend about Tim's death. he told me that Tim was taken to the hospital and put on life support for a week before dying. Again. I don't know if what he claimed was true. I just know that when I complained to the guard about what happened he said "It happens." and when I asked to speak with mental health I was allowed a couple sessions but because there was no "crisis intervention" needed, meaning no indication of my own potential suicide attempt, that they discontinued meeting with me. The mental health supervisor (Washington, if I remember right) was the one to explain it to me. They aren't there to provide counseling services. Everything they do to inmates they pretend is for safety and when safety is a real concern it is the lowest priority. We aren't "Prisoners in Our Care (PIOC)." We are persecuted in our cages to the convenience and delight of whomever chooses. Every time that light flashes through my cell, that is what I think about. Called the prison to encourage them to punish me if I talk to my daughter who needs me more than ever right now? They will eagerly accept that request. What is the right and legal thing to do doesn't matter when you can't afford an attorney and aren't afforded the resources or time to defend yourself. They can do and take what they like, even if it is supposed to be mandatory or required. We don't need Constitutional rights. They only prove to be a cause for lawsuit that a court of equity pretends can designate a comparable dollar amount if you can file within a certain timeframe while being buried in every possible disadvantage. What we need are Constitutional protections that require the application of all policies, rules, and laws to not infringe on our liberties. Otherwise we have done nothing but exchanged kings? Otherwise humanity and tyranny are synonymous? Tim didn't respond to much. I tried to talk to him a bit but he was a few cells away beyond two solid doors. He didn't really want to talk to me; a stranger with no authority to get him out of his trap. My condolences to Tim Nelson's family. From what I saw and heard, he was pushed from a desperate situation by the people responsible for his care. They don't care. It is often quite the opposite, in fact. All the greatest wrong is done in the name of right.
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aboutThese are the journal entries of Zachariah Anderson. All entries are originally handwritten by Zach and then transcribed on his behalf. Please note that occasional misspellings and grammar errors may be fixed during transcription for the sake of making the entries easier to read and sensitive information may be redacted. Archives
July 2024
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