September 15, 2023

Legal mail from the public defender's office. I had written to plead my situation. My frozen bank account and attorneys in the process of removing my property from my possession was enough for them to change their original denial. Their letter says I will be appointed an attorney. Not sure how long that will take, but theoretically that is a good thing. 

I also received a letter from G. Boughton - Warden, stating my complaint was improperly rejected and was returned for further investigation. What? The system actually responsive? Am I dreaming? Wrongfully accused both in and outside of prison. Wrongfully convicted on both. Buried in the formalities and obstacles. I am extremely skeptical of the system (you may have been left with that impression already) now that I see how it works, or doesn't. Where does the truth begin to matter? When a maybe child predator prosecution is involved it will be after irreversible harm is done. When it involves a librarian eager to be the center of anyone's attention it will be after she promulgates her lies to the entire institution. Do I get to expect an honest account of things now?

Today my back hurt so ridiculously bad, yesterday I had upped the weight on the pull-down station on the cable-column exercise equipment. I then went outside and tried to shoot a basketball a bit. Physical therapy exercises weren't triggering anything... excruciating, so I got foolish. I try to hold my breath while I am walking. I embarrass myself using the phone. Tiny breaths. Hold. Shoes and laundry packed under my mat looking for any way to ease the pain. Or all-fours seems to be my best bet but I don't want any guards or inmates glancing in my cell and wondering why I am ass-up in here. I have been tracking my physical therapy exercises and days I am too miserable to try again get a frowny face. Today is a frowny face day for sure.